Perspective

Decao was violent towards Lam Minh, so he “physically interacted” with her. Please read about Decao in part 2.4.4 Domestic violence. Image source: afamily.vn

The inspiration to write this article is thanks to a hate comment whose author didn’t know how to write capitalized words in the article “The Crisis of Femininity – How to be considered a “real” woman in today’s era?”.

(Translation: – when you talk about a crisis, you only focus on the crisis women face, even though everyone experiences crises. Society has always had stereotypes about each person’s role, and struggling with these stereotypes is common. So why do you only target women in such a broad issue?, is it because you want to claim victimhood, or because you refuse to acknowledge the crisis faced by the other gender?)

My response was: “Because I am a woman. Who would believe me if I wrote about men?” But then I thought more: Erik Erikson was a man that wrote about women and did so correctly. He was, however, a famous psychologist, whereas I am not. Yet, as Mr. Tornad mentioned in his article, we should value opinions more than authority. That inspired me to write this article, offering men a perspective on how women perceive masculinity.

In summary, this article argues that while women face certain stereotypes of femininity, such as being expected to bear children and maintain a family, men lack a healthy stereotype of masculinity to follow and develop themselves.

This article primarily references the research paper “Men and Masculinities in an Integrated Vietnam – Key Findings and Implications for Gender Equality” by the Institute for Social Development Studies (ISDS).

Natalie Portman once revealed that she was “sexualized” while filming Léon: The Professional. Portman was only 12 years old at the time. The actress asserted that this terrible experience always made her afraid of her instincts. [1]

On the family front, Life coach Cat Thao Nguyen shared in Have A Sip podcast number 168 that she had difficulty conceiving, and the baby she was carrying was diagnosed by a doctor in Australia that if born, would not live past 12 months. She questioned her worth when she could not be a mother. [2]

Female rapper tlinh finds it difficult to be feminine, cannot wear high heels, and feels stiff when making love [3]. During the scandal in early 2024 when posting a photo with the shape of male genitals on Instagram, tlinh found it difficult to balance between being a strong woman in the public eye and living true to her sexuality with the normal desires of a 20-year-old woman.

Women of reproductive age in Vietnam are afraid of getting married and having children because they fear responsibilities and want to focus more on their careers [4]

Please guess the similarities of these 4 stories?

Your guess is right: it’s a crisis of femininity, because being a girl is hard, it’s no joke.